This Is Getting Out Of Hand.png
WHY DO I EVEN LEAVE THE INTERNET, SERIOUSLY
it ended here because nobody knows what the wiggly brackets are called
they’re called braces
I asked the mother for a photo, but she said the decision was up to her son. So I asked the boy. He stood up, walked over, looked me up and down, and said: “Prove to me you’re not a terrorist.”
i fucking hate tumblr so much seriously
you guys are always like “i want equality!” except gay people are better than straight people and women are better than men and poc are better than white people and trans people are better than cis people
if you claim you want equality, but put someone down because they’re privileged, that doesn’t make you an advocate for equality, it makes you an asshole
*NHL announces expansion to las vegas*
[tyler seguin trips over his feet asking for a trade]
(jonny toews claps his hands over pkanes ears and guides him away)
(Paul Bissonnette offers to play for payment in beer and speedos)
(Scott Gomez offers to play and still isn’t wanted)
- *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
- Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
- Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
- Man: I never filled out an application.
- Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
- Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
- Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
- Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
- Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
- Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
- Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
- Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
- Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
- Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
- Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
- Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
- Man: Fuck you, slut.
i can’t believe angelina jolie killed taylor swift
OKAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SMALLS (BECAUSE HE HAS A NAME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).
Robert Smalls was born into slavery in 1839 and at the age of 12 his owner leased him out in Charleston, South Carolina. He gravitated towards working at the docks and on boats and eventually became the equivalent of a pilot, and in late 1861 he found himself assigned to a military transport boat named the CSS Planter.
On May 12, 1862, the white officers decided to spend the night on land. Smalls rounded up the enslaved crew and they hatched a plan, and once the officers were long gone they made a run for it, only stopping to pick up their families (who they notified) along the way. Smalls, disguised as the captain, steered the boat past Confederate forts (including Ft. Sumter) and over to the Union blockade, raising a white sheet his wife took from her job as a hotel maid as a flag of truce. The CSS Planter had a highly valuable code book and all manner of explosives on board.
Smalls ended up serving in the Union Navy and rose to the rank of captain there. He was also one of a number of individuals who talked to Abraham Lincoln about the possibility of African-American soldiers fighting for the Union, which became a reality.
After the war, Smalls bought his owner’s old plantation in Beaufort and even allowed the owner’s sickly wife to move back in until her death. He eventually served in the South Carolina House of Representatives (1865-1870), the South Carolina Senate (1871-1874), and the United States House of Representatives (1875-1879) and represented South Carolina’s 5th District from 1882-1883 and the 7th District from 1884-1887. He and other black politicians also fought against an amendment designed to disenfranchise black voters in 1895, but it unfortunately passed.
Smalls ended his public life by serving as U.S. Collector of Customs in Beaufort from 1889-1911. He died in 1915 at the age of 75.
And now you know Robert Smalls.
ROBERT SMALLS IS THE MAN.